This week’s sermon is less sermon and more of me trying to process things.
A lot has been going on over the past few weeks and I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about…not so much death, but about getting older and losing mental faculties. I know someone whose father is in the final stages of dementia and over the course of a few short weeks has gone from manageable to belligerent and violent. I can’t speak to that experience directly, but I know I would not want to deal with it on either side.
I’ve often said that I when I finally shake off this mortal coil, I want to do it as quietly as possible. I don’t want to linger with a horrible, long-term disease that robs me of my quality of life. I don’t want to be kept alive by machines that simply keep my heart beating with no hope of regaining any semblance of life. And honestly, I don’t want all of my social interactions to involve people coming into my room and their first words are, “How are you feeling today?” as I lay in a bed staring into space, unable to speak or communicate in any way. That’s not who I am and it’s not who I want to be.
If it comes to that point, let me go. If I know that my mind is going and I’m going to turn into a completely different person through no fault of my own, allow me to make the decision to end my life on my terms while I am still of sound mind.