Tag: Moses

Numbers Chapter 20

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Is the God of the Old Testament petty? Well, after reading this section…yes.

Once again, the Israelites are mad at Moses and Aaron because they brought them out into the wilderness and there is no water. So they go off to the tent of meeting to tell God why the people are mad at them this time.

7The LORD spoke to Moses, saying: 8Take the staff, and assemble the congregation, you and your brother Aaron, and command the rock before their eyes to yield its water. Thus you shall bring water out of the rock for them; thus you shall provide drink for the congregation and their livestock.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 324). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Simple enough. Now let’s continue…

9So Moses took the staff from before the LORD, as he had commanded him. 10Moses and Aaron gathered the assembly together before the rock, and he said to them, “Listen, you rebels, shall we bring water for you out of this rock?” 11Then Moses lifted up his hand and struck the rock twice with his staff; water came out abundantly, and the congregation and their livestock drank.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 324). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

There we go. Moses did the thing that resulted in the thing happening and now the people are happy. Let’s see what’s next…

12But the LORD said to Moses and Aaron, “Because you did not trust in me, to show my holiness before the eyes of the Israelites, therefore you shall not bring this assembly into the land that I have given them.” 13These are the waters of Meribah, where the people of Israel quarreled with the LORD, and by which he showed his holiness

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 324). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

What? OK, it took me a couple times reading this through and then having to look up a scholarly explanation of this section. It turns out that because Moses hit the rock twice with his staff, it showed a lack of faith in God and, therefore, the Israelites won’t be allowed to take over the land of Canaan. Do I think God is petty in this case? YES!

So then the Israelites are refused passage through Edom in what sounds like it was probably a poem or the refrain of a song. They promise to stay on the King’s road, eyes forward, taking nothing, and looking at nothing. But the king threatens them with the sword. Then he shows them the sword. The Israelites turn and walk away.

Finally, Moses takes Aaron up to Mount Hor and is stripped of his vestments and they are given to his son Eleazar is. I guess means that he is now a high priest. Israel mourns for thirty days.

Numbers Chapter 16

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Three guys took a group of two hundred fifty Israelites to tell Moses that they were just as holy as everyone else in the congregation. Moses told them to prepare their censers with incense and gather at the tent of meeting when God will decide who is holy and who isn’t.

This is another chapter of repetition as the same things are repeated at least twice. The paragraphs following the order above is the action being carried out in the same amount of detail instead of the author saying, “and they did just that.” Is that easier? Maybe I’ll rewrite the Bible and call it the Plain, Everyday Language EditionTM.

Anyway, long story short, the two hundred fifty-three men show up armed with censers and are ready for a smoke-off with Aaron and Moses for God’s affection. Well, God already picked his winner and it’s Moses. The families and possessions of the families of the three men, including slaves and animals were swallowed up by the earth and sent down to Sheol alive.

I was reading another of the tracts that were sent to me by a SecretSatanTM and according to the author of that tract, Sheol is Hell. According to Hebrew scholars, it is not, it is sort of a (my term) waiting room for the dead. Guess which one I tend to believe more? (if you’re new here, the answer is the Hebrew scholar).

Continuing on, God isn’t done killing people. After the first wave of death, Eleazar gathered up the now holy censers and pounded them out as another decoration for the altar. This was to remind everyone that only a descendant of Aaron is permitted to offer incense to God. Well, the rest of the congregation didn’t like the fact that the earth opened and swallowed up all those people, so they let it be known. And God, who is a reasonable and thoughtful listener of complaints…who am I kidding? God started killing all of them until Aaron stepped between God and the congregation to make atonement for the people. Anyway, more than fourteen thousand died before Aaron could light up the censer. So I’m guessing that somewhere in the neighborhood of fifteen thousand people died in that chapter.

Numbers Chapter 12

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Here we come to another point in the Pentateuch where it is likely obvious that it was not written by Moses.

3Now the man Moses was very humble, more so than anyone else on the face of the earth.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 307). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Truly the writing of a humble man. I would like to hear from someone who takes this book literally who can explain how Moses is so humble that he has to tell the reader that he was so humble. By the way, does this sound like someone we all know?

Prior to this, Aaron and Miriam were complaining about Moses because he apparently married a Cushite woman. According to the Oxford Bible Commentary, Cush could refer to Ethiopia (this would be Moses’ second wife) or an area in northern Arabia (this would be Zipporah, the Midianite woman he married in a previous book/chapter), the reason this is brought up is uncertain. However, they’re jealous because God only speaks through Moses.

So God calls them all out of the tent of meeting and appears as a cloud pillar and tells them that he speaks to Moses face to face and not in dreams and riddles like he does with other prophets. Then, because God can’t let anything go, strikes Miriam with leprosy for speaking against Moses. Then Aaron begged Moses not to let this happen, and Moses asked the Lord, and the Lord and the Lord said no dice, she’s gotta go bye-bye for seven days.

Exodus Chapters 23 & 24

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Chapter 23

The first section of this chapter are probably the most sensible laws in this entire book. They talk about meting out justice fairly, not going with the majority or with the poor where it would pervert justice. Return your neighbor’s lost property regardless of your feelings toward them. Don’t kill the innocent, don’t take bribes, don’t oppress foreigners in your land. I feel like there are some people out there that claim to be Christians that could really stand to read this section over again.

The next section is really short and talks about Sabbatical Year and the Sabbath. The seventh year, land owners will let their fields and orchards lie fallow. I guess it doesn’t just mean a professor taking a year off to record podcasts. The sabbath is, of course, taking the seventh day of the week off and giving your livestock and slaves a break. Today, we have a two day sabbath, but it’s usually used to get our work around the house done because we’re working all week.

I said this a while back and I will say it again (somebody else actually said it, though), any god that demands worship is not worthy of it, and god worthy of worship would not demand it. I mention this because God wants three annual festivals dedicated to him and he will tell you exactly how he wants them celebrated. This to me sounds like an annoyingly popular girl in high school organizing her own birthday party. Also, God hates yeast. And don’t boil a baby goat in it’s own mother’s milk.

The final section is all about how God will help his people conquer the land of Canaan. They’re warned not to worship the gods of their enemies. Nobody living in the land inhabited by the Israelites will ever miscarry or be barren or get sick and all will be fulfilled for the rest of their days.

Chapter 24

We get a short break from laws and ordinances so that Moses could tell the people all of the laws and ordinances that he’s received so far and then wrote them down. The he woke up early the next morning, he built an altar and set up twelve pillars (I’m sure he did this all by himself). After an animal sacrifice, Moses saved some blood in basins and splashed some on his altar. Then he read the book of the covenant to the people and splashed blood on them. It was like an Alice Cooper concert.

God calls Moses, Aaron, Nadab, and Abihu, and seventy elders of Israel up to the mountain. God was apparently standing on something that looked like sapphire, and the men ate, drank, and beheld God. Moses was then called up the mountain to meet God and he would be given the tablets that contain the laws that God gave him. OK, so Moses was told the law by God, told the people, wrote it down, read it to the people again, and now he’s getting the laws on stone tablets. God appeared on the mountain like a devouring fire. Moses entered the cloud and remained there for forty days and forty nights.

Exodus Chapter 20

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It’s been a while since I’ve only covered one chapter in a post, but this one is a long one (that’s what she said…sorry).

Now we come to the Ten Commandments. As I read these, God only really explains clearly the commandments about himself. The first commandment verifies what I’ve said all along this project so far: There are other gods, and I am assuming that this is where the monotheistic tradition truly starts.

The second commandment is an odd one, and taken at face value states that there shall be nothing made that represents anything in nature.

4You shall not make for yourself an idol, whether in the form of anything that is in heaven above, or that is on the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. 5You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I the LORD your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, 6but showing steadfast love to the thousandth generation of those who love me and keep my commandments.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 168). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Of course, it also says that those things shall not be worshiped, so it could appear to be a warning not to put earthly possessions above God. Or something.

Third, the commandment about taking the name of the Lord in vain, or as worded in the NRSV…

7You shall not make wrongful use of the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not acquit anyone who misuses his name.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (pp. 168-169). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

From what I could gather, this seems to mean that you shouldn’t make oaths on the Lord’s name that you do not intend to keep. The sixth commandment is about not working at all on Sunday…or Saturday…or sundown on Friday to sundown on Saturday. This prohibition includes children, slaves, livestock, and alien residents living in you town. All of this is because God made everything in six days and rested on the seventh.

That does it for the God-related commandments, but the next one deserves some attention for wording.

12Honor your father and your mother, so that your days may be long in the land that the LORD your God is giving you.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 169). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

In other words, be nice to your parents because they brought you into this world, and by God, they can take you out of it.

Then we get the rest, don’t murder, don’t commit adultery, don’t steal, don’t bear false witness against your neighbor, don’t covet your neighbor’s house, wife, slaves, ox, donkey, or anything that your neighbor owns.

According to the Torah and Talmud, the sixth commandment refers to murder specifically. This comes from real Rabbis on Twitter.

Whenever people try to say that the Constitution or other modern laws are based on the Ten Commandments, they usually refer to the sixth, eighth, and ninth. The first commandment violates the first amendment. The tenth commandment is actually the whole basis of capitalism.

The people witnessed the smoke and the thunder and the trumpet and they were afraid and wanted only Moses to talk to them because they feared that if God spoke they would die. Moses tells the people that God is only testing them and putting the fear of him in them so that they will not sin.

So, that’s it. That’s the ten commandme–oh, there’s more. Apparently, there is a commandment about how to build an altar to God. Of course, you shall not make gods of silver or gold. Also, altars should be made of earth. However, if you make an altar of stone, it shouldn’t be from chiseled stone because that would profane it.

OK, so that’s it, right? Well, for this chapter, yes. However, the next chapter contains more laws about slaves, violence, and property. Join me won’t you?

Exodus Chapters 17, 18, & 19

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Chapter 17

As we read in the previous chapter, the Israelites complained about not having enough to eat, so God gave them manna from heaven. This time, they’re whining that they don’t enough water to drink. Moses is afraid that they’re going to stone him to death, so God commands him to take his staff and hit the Rock of Horeb and water will come out of it. So he does it and sure enough, water came forth. The Israelites quarreled and tested the Lord and wondered if he was with them.

Then we get the story where Amalek came and fought with Israel. So Joshua was told to choose some men to go out and fight while Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up on the hill and as long as Moses raised his arms, the Israelites would be winning, but if his arms dropped, then Amalek would start winning. Eventually, Moses got tired, and so Aaron and Hur each held up an arm, which to me sounds like cheating.

14Then the LORD said to Moses, “Write this as a reminder in a book and recite it in the hearing of Joshua: I will utterly blot out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven.”

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 164). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

If you write down a person’s name in a book that you intend to blot out of remembrance, are you actually doing just that? This makes no sense.

Chapter 18

So apparently Moses sent his wife and kids back to her father, Jethro (pictured), but now sent word that he was coming to see him and bringing his wife and kids. They met up, Moses told him all that had happened, and they made burnt offerings, and ate bread.

The next day, Moses sat as judge for the people to settle their disputes, but Jethro convinced him to created a municipal court system where judges would be appointed to settle lesser disputes. That’s it. That’s the chapter. It’s a lot of words for not a lot of substance.

Chapter 19

After three months, the Israelites came to Mount Sinai and the Lord told Moses to tell the people, paraphrasing here, “obey God.” God also tells Moses that he will appear as a dense cloud so that the people could hear what Moses is being told so that they will trust him.

So God tells Moses to tell the people not to go up the mountain or even touch the edge of it or else they will be stoned (not in the good way) or shot with arrows (also, not in the good way). They were to wash their clothes and prepare for the third day, and not go near a woman. Of course, if the person in question is a woman, that would be difficult to do.

God appeared as a pillar of smoke and descended on the mountain as he said would and Moses introduced Israel to God. Then God summoned him up the mountain and told him to go down and tell the people to stay off the mountain. Moses had to be in spectacular shape from going up and down the mountain so many times. Moses was told to go down the mountain and bring Aaron up, again, telling the people not to come up.

Exodus Chapters 14, 15, & 16

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Chapter 14

We now come to the crossing of the Red Sea. God tell Moses where to camp so that it looks to Pharaoh like they’re wandering aimlessly. Then God decides that he is going to…oh here, read for yourself.

4I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them, so that I will gain glory for myself over Pharaoh and all his army; and the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD. And they did so.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 157). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

At this point, God just looks like he has two pawns that he is playing against each other. This is not a good and just God. This is pure evil in any context. He is going to drown the entire army of Egypt because he hardened their hearts.

Moses stretched out his over the sea and it parted so that there was land for the Israelites to walk on and cross to the other side. Of course, the Egyptian army chased after them and God told Moses to once again stretch out his hand over the sea so that the waters would close up around the Egyptian army and drown them all.

30Thus the LORD saved Israel that day from the Egyptians; and Israel saw the Egyptians dead on the seashore. 31Israel saw the great work that the LORD did against the Egyptians. So the people feared the LORD and believed in the LORD and in his servant Moses.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 159). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

The Lord made the Egyptians chase after the Israelites in the first place so that he could prove his manliness as a God. He also killed a lot of men and horses. The God of Exodus is a monster.

Chapter 15

The first part is song of praise to God for drowning the chariot drivers and their horses. It’s also a recounting of the events of the last chapter with no mention of Pharaoh’s hardened heart.  Then the prophet Miriam (Aaron’s sister) joined in to celebrate the deaths of horses and riders.

They ended up in Marah, which means bitterness, and they could not drink the water because it was, you guessed it, bitter. So Moses cried out to God who gave him a piece of wood and he threw it into the water and that bitterness cleared right up.

Finally, God tells his people that they won’t catch any of the diseases that the Egyptians caught if the listen to him and heed his commandments. This is the God that heals them. They camped a lovely oasis with twelve springs and seventy palm trees.

Chapter 16

This is a long story about bread with a lot of repetition. Anyway, it’s a test by God to see how well the Israelites follow directions. Each morning, God will provide the Israelites bread and they have to gather enough for the day for their families, no more, no less. They are not to keep the bread until the following morning. Some do just that and it bred worms (I see what they did there) and was inedible. So, they learned their lesson and collected and ate the bread in the same day.

On the sixth day, they were told to gather twice the amount of bread, which they did. They were told this time to save half for the following morning, which they did. This time the bread did not grow worms and go bad. The seventh morning, they went out to gather bread and found none and God got upset because they weren’t keeping the Sabbath. Aaron placed a portion before God as an offering to kept for generations.

Exodus Chapters 11, 12, & 13

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Chapters 11 & 12

Chapter 11 is the warning to Pharaoh of what is to come because he has not let the people of Israel go. God will go throughout Egypt and kill the firstborn son of every Egyptian from Pharaoh to slave and of every animal.

God hardened Pharaoh’s heart (that phrase is pretty common throughout this series of chapters) and blamed Pharaoh for not letting the Israelites go. That to me is a moral monster, honestly. I’ve gone on about it enough, so I’ll be quiet now.

Chapter 12 starts off with a paragraph and a half about how to pick a lamb, use its blood to mark the door posts, prepare the lamb, and eat the lamb. Basically, each household will eat their lamb in one night, leaving none for morning.

The blood is a signal to God that his people live in that house because he is going to go throughout the land of Egypt and kill the firstborn of Egypt. He also gives Moses and Aaron the rest of the instructions for the Passover. On the first day, all yeast (leavening) is to be removed from their homes and they are only to eat unleavened bread for the seven days of the observance. This is followed by Moses explaining all of it to the Israelites.

So God did exactly as he said he would do. He went throughout Egypt and killed the firstborn Pharaoh’s son because he’s creeping death, apparently (Metallica reference). He also killed everyone’s firstborn and everything’s firstborn, because it’s the cattle’s fault if they didn’t know to put lamb’s blood on their stable doors. I do wonder if the sheep and goats were spared since they likely already lost their firstborn to the Israelites.

Finally for the third time in Exodus, Pharaoh tells Moses and Aaron to take the Israelites and leave. This time, God doesn’t harden his heart and instead, makes the Egyptians see favor in the Israelites which allows the Israelites to plunder them. Then the Israelites went from Rameses to Succoth on foot carrying unleavened bread, and taking they livestock with them.

Finally, God gives Moses the instructions for Passover. A lot of this involves circumcision of slaves if they are to eat of the feast. Also, any alien who wants to eat the feast must also be circumcised.

Chapter 13

God tells Moses to consecrate to him all of the firstborn of the Israelites and their animals (more on that later). As it turns out he’s not all about the human sacrifice.

We then get more about unleavened bread because I guess God doesn’t like yeast or something. I do know that there is a lot more about this in the Talmud, but I’m not reading it. However, I have no problem looking for further explanation wherever I can find it. The Oxford commentary isn’t much help here.

We come to the explanation of the consecration of the firstborn, and instead of sacrificing the firstborn of the Israelite people, they will be redeemed.

15When Pharaoh stubbornly refused to let us go, the LORD killed all the firstborn in the land of Egypt, from human firstborn to the firstborn of animals. Therefore I sacrifice to the LORD every male that first opens the womb, but every firstborn of my sons I redeem.’

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 156). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

I’m not saying a word about Pharaoh and his hardened heart…

OK, so God led the Israelites out of Egypt, but not through the land of the Philistines because he didn’t want them to experience war or else they might return to Egypt. Instead he led them to the Red Sea. Egypt was preparing for battle (I assume with the Israelites despite having their hearts softened so that they would help them out). Moses was carrying the bones of Joseph (oh, right, I forgot about that) because he made them promise to bury him with this father when God led them out of Egypt. God led the Israelites as a pillar of clouds by day and a pillar of fire by night.

Exodus Chapters 8, 9, & 10

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Chapter 8

I promised you frogs at the end of the last post, well you got frogs. Moses and Aaron made these things appear everywhere.

3The river shall swarm with frogs; they shall come up into your palace, into your bedchamber and your bed, and into the houses of your officials and of your people, and into your ovens and your kneading bowls. 4The frogs shall come up on you and on your people and on all your officials.’ ”

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 145). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

See? Everywhere. If this happened today, they would be in the rice cooker, the air fryer, the toilet, everywhere. So they made it happen and it was apparently awful. However, the Pharaoh’s magicians were able to do it too, but Pharaoh called upon Moses and Aaron to get rid of the frogs.

I knew I had a problem in this rundown of plagues, but it wasn’t until commenter Classicjason pointed it out. If the magicians could replicate the tricks that Moses performed, why couldn’t they reverse them?

Anyway, back to the story. Pharaoh promised the dynamic duo that he would allow the Israelites go and worship if they would just make these frogs go away. So Moses cries out to God to lose the frogs, and so God strikes them dead everywhere except in the river. So there’s a bunch of frog carcasses laying around and they have to be gathered up and dumped. Oh, by the way, Pharaoh’s heart was hardened again, so they weren’t allowed to go worship.

So, Moses told Aaron to stretch out his staff and strike the dust of the earth. This caused gnats to appear out of the dust and they got everywhere. Pharaoh’s magicians tried this trick and they couldn’t perform it. They told Pharaoh that this was the finger of God, but of course Pharaoh’s heart was hardened so God could show off some more.

And again the same thing with the flies. I mean, really, this is tedious. Pharaoh tells Moses that they can worship within the land, but Moses say that it would be offensive to the Egyptians and they would be stoned (not in that way, potheads). They had to go three days journey from there, but Pharaoh’s heart was hardened again.

Next up: Dead cows, boils, and thunder and hail.

Chapter 9

This time Moses threatened that a pestilence will strike the livestock of the Egyptians, but not the livestock of the Israelites. Sure enough, it happened as planned, but hardened heart…yada yada yada. Seriously, I could tell this story in three paragraphs.

Moses threw some soot from the kiln in front of Pharaoh and caused festering boils on humans and animals throughout the land. The magicians couldn’t stand before Moses because they were afflicted. Hardened heart…no go.

This time Moses told Pharaoh that he was going to make it hail and that he should really move all of his slaves and livestock under cover. Except, didn’t all of the livestock die due to the pestilence at the beginning of this chapter? CONTINUITY, PEOPLE! Anyway, let’s make believe that this story is all made up and what happened earlier doesn’t matter. So, the hail falls and the thunder booms and Pharaoh admits that he sinned and decides to finally, FINALLY let the Israelites go.

PSYCH! Nope, once he saw that the hail and thunder stopped, his heart was hardened again and he reneged. Seriously, this is just a power play for God. Pharaoh admitted that he had sinned, but now God just wants to torture him. Does anyone actually wonder why I don’t believe this book?

Chapter 10

Guess what? More plagues because the God of Exodus is written as a sadistic monster. I’m sorry, but Pharaoh already admitted his and let the Israelites go, but God can’t let the opportunity for more torture go to waste.

3So Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh, and said to him, “Thus says the LORD, the God of the Hebrews, ‘How long will you refuse to humble yourself before me? Let my people go, so that they may worship me…”

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 149). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Pharaoh did humble himself when he admitted his sin, but again, God hardened his heart. Pharaoh’s officials told him to let them go because the land is ruined, but Pharaoh and his heart were not budging. This time around, the brothers of destruction unleashed locusts to pretty much destroy everything that wasn’t destroyed before.

16Pharaoh hurriedly summoned Moses and Aaron and said, “I have sinned against the LORD your God, and against you. 17Do forgive my sin just this once, and pray to the LORD your God that at the least he remove this deadly thing from me.”

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 150). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

That seems pretty humble to me, but God doesn’t care. He hardens Pharaoh’s heart because I think he’s having fun. The ninth plague is a shroud of darkness such that the Egyptians cannot see one another or even move from where they are. Again, Pharaoh capitulates, but God has one more, disgusting, heinous atrocity up his sleeve.

Exodus Chapters 5, 6, & 7

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Chapter 5

This chapter is just explaining that after Moses and Aaron went to Pharaoh and asked to be allowed to go into the wilderness, they were rejected. Pharaoh’s heart was hardened and he exercised more cruelty on the Israelites by no longer providing them straw to make bricks. They would have to collect it themselves, but were also required to make the same amount of bricks. The Israelite supervisors approach Pharaoh and plead with him, but he calls them lazy and reiterates his command.

They come across Moses and Aaron outside and yell at them, essentially, because they are treated badly. Moses turns to the heavens and pleads with God because he obviously doesn’t remember that the only reason that they’re treated badly is because God hardened Pharaoh’s heart.

Chapter 6

The beginning of this chapter is a lot of recap. “I’m The Lord…Abraham…Isaac…Jacob…Land of Canaan…Israelite slaves…Egyptians…Pharaoh…” God told Moses to tell the Israelites this story, but they wouldn’t listen because they were broken. Moses explained that the Israelites would not listen to him. God told him to go tell Pharaoh to let his people go, but Moses said he couldn’t speak to Pharaoh because the Israelites wouldn’t listen to him.

We come to, surprise surprise, a genealogy. I’d like to take a moment to wonder why God didn’t, instead of hardening Pharaoh’s heart, speak directly into the Israelites’ hearts and tell them, “Hey, this Moses guy is your dude and you got nothing to worry about. Follow him and he’ll show you some crazy stuff. Wait until you see what I have planned for the Red Sea.” But no, God always has some bizarre Rube Goldberg device of a plan to “fix” things. Remember that flood from way back when that was supposed to cure the world of wickedness? How’d that work out?

From a writer’s perspective, I can understand the whole “harden Pharaoh’s heart” thing as a plot device. The god in this story wants to ensure that he can put on display his plagues and miracles so that people will believe.

Chapter 7

OK, finally, on to the main event. All the training is done and now Moses is like God and Aaron is his prophet. They went before Pharaoh and when he told them to perform a wonder, Aaron took Moses’ staff, threw it to the ground and it became a snake. Pharaoh called on his sorcerers and magicians and they performed the same trick. Is this Penn and Teller’s Fool Us? However, Aaron’s snake swallowed up all the other snakes. Also, I have to chuckle because the name of this section with the staff and snake trick is called “Aaron’s Miraculous Rod”. I’m going to hell.

Pharaoh’s heart is, of course, still hardened because God made it so, so he sends Moses and Aaron out to the Nile River to meet Pharaoh. There would demand that he let the Israelites go. When Pharaoh refused, Moses or Aaron or both struck the water with the miraculous rod and the river turned to blood, all the fish died, and it stank. The Egyptians had to dig for water to drink. However, Pharaoh’s magicians were able to replicate the trick and so the Israelites would not be set free on this day.

Once again, pardon my language, but this is nothing more than a mystical dick-wagging contest between Arron and Moses and the Pharaoh’s magicians. I have a feeling that this will keep going for the rest of the plagues.

Coming up next: Frogs.