Tag: jesus

Apocalyptic Stories, A Review

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The following is a review about this playlist: Apocalyptic Stories.

I recently watched a series of four videos from Restore Church Austin by Pastor Zach Lambert demystifying the Book of Revelation. As far as the history of the book itself and its actual intention, none of that came as a surprise to me since I’ve read and watched a lot about it. What was refreshing was listening to a Christian pastor calmly and rationally discussing this book to his congregation in its intended context.

Revelation is the last book of the Bible and it fits into the overall volume like a denim vest with a tuxedo. It is written in a genre called “apocalyptic” which does not mean “the end of days”, but “to reveal” or “revelation”. That’s because this is not a prophecy about the end of the world, but a message of hope to the seven churches living under the Roman Empire. At this time, the Christians in those churches are under heavy and very real persecution by the empire (Nero is the beast marked by 666).

John of Patmos writes very symbolically and metaphorically. Unfortunately, too many religious groups tend to take it a bit too literally, thinking that Jesus is coming back with great violence and aggression because he’s coming with a sword. Of course, John says he’s coming with a sword…IN HIS MOUTH. It’s talking about a sharp tongue. That’s metaphor, people, for the church arising with a great message of hope and salvation that will overcome their persecutors. Zach explains this part beautifully. Also, there are no actual dragons coming, that’s also a metaphor for the empire itself.

Revelation tends to be treated like the prophecies of Nostradamus in that either people use the text to make overly vague future predictions, or they look at events that have already happened and find a verse that fits the situation. Revelation is not that kind of book, nor are the prophecies of Nostradamus, but that’s a discussion for a different blog.

I highly recommend the playlist linked above. Zach does a great job explaining the book in the actual context of the time. He cites his sources where necessary and I think if you’re one of those who has only heard it preached as pure prophecy, you may walk away with a greater appreciation for its actual intent.

Riddle Me This…

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Judges Chapter 14

Samson is all grown up and looking for love. He sees a Philistine woman while he’s in Timnah and wants her. So he runs back to mom and dad and tells them to get her for him, like when a child wants a toy. We learn that this is part of some scheme to act against the Philistines. What happens next is best left up to the text itself.

5Then Samson went down with his father and mother to Timnah. When he came to the vineyards of Timnah, suddenly a young lion roared at him. 6The spirit of the Lord rushed on him, and he tore the lion apart barehanded as one might tear apart a kid. But he did not tell his father or his mother what he had done.

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 385). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

Samson has some pent up aggression, doesn’t he? Anyway, he talked to the woman and was digging her, so he married her after some unspecified period of time. On his way to marry her, he came across the lion carcass and bees had taken it over and he found honey inside. So, he scraped it out and ate it and gave some to his father, but he never told him where it came from.

Samson had a feast as a celebration of his nuptials to this unnamed woman. Thirty people joined him for the feast and then he proceeded to give them a riddle.

12Samson said to them, “Let me now put a riddle to you. If you can explain it to me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty linen garments and thirty festal garments. 13But if you cannot explain it to me, then you shall give me thirty linen garments and thirty festal garments.” So they said to him, “Ask your riddle; let us hear it.” 14He said to them,

“Out of the eater came something to eat.

Out of the strong came something sweet.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 385). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

Naturally, this riddle is only answerable by Samson since it’s about the honey coming from the lion’s carcass. The companions ask Samson’s wife to get the answer from him and tell them. So she nags him for the entire feast until on the last day he tells her. And then she tells her people.

18The men of the town said to him on the seventh day before the sun went down,

“What is sweeter than honey?

What is stronger than a lion?”

And he said to them,

“If you had not plowed with my heifer,

you would not have found out my riddle.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 386). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

There seems to be some innuendo going on here. I mean, did he just call his wife a heifer? Anyway, since he lost the game, he went to Ashkelon and killed thirty men for their garments. Then Samson went to his father’s house and gave his wife to his best man because she betrayed him, apparently.

Apologies for the many quoted verses, but it’s best to let the text do the talking. Obviously, we’re working toward the Leonard Cohen finale here, but that won’t be for another couple chapters.

Deuteronomy Chapter 25

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Here we go again, another chapter of laws that are seemingly made up on the spot. If God (or a god) wrote this book, wouldn’t it be a bit more organized. As it is, the Bible is mess Imagine having to reference a law in the text without the internet. Anyway, let’s get going.

The first section deals with litigation in which the person in the wrong is deserving of flogging. If he is found guilty, then he will be lashed in front of the one that he had the dispute with. He will receive forty lashes, but no more because that would be degrading.

Now this where things go off the rails because now we jump to marriage… but first…. verse four:

4You shall not muzzle an ox while it is treading out the grain.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 475). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

Why? What is the rhyme or reason to this verse being here? According to the Oxford commentary, this verse probably should have gone with Deut. 24:19-20 since it’s discussing agriculture. You’d think some scribe would have figured that out. Anyway, let’s move on.

This chapter started off typical for marriage in the Bible. If brothers live together and one dies, without having a son, his brother will “know his dead brother’s wife” and her firstborn will take the name of her deceased husband. Basically, the woman us passed along as property. Then things take a turn and left me chuckling by the end.

If the brother doesn’t want his brother’s wife (she has no say, obviously) then she’ll tell the elders at the gate and if the brother confirms this, then the widow will pull off his sandal, spit in his face, and declare that he is the one who won’t build up his brother’s house. This is where I chuckled, this family will forever be known as “The house of him whose sandal was pulled off. ” I’m sure it sounds better in Hebrew. There is no mention if the other (living) brother is married himself. It’s not that it matters in this book. I also wonder if that name at the end has been carried down to present day. Just wondering.

Now for more, various laws that could have been better organized. First, if a wife intervenes to help her husband in the a fight by grabbing his assailants junk, her hand will be cut off. Then there’s a low about only carrying honest weights and measures, obviously referring to doing honest commerce. And then there’s the final paragraph. I’m going to include in its entirety.

17Remember what Amalek did to you on your journey out of Egypt, 18how he attacked you on the way, when you were faint and weary, and struck down all who lagged behind you; he did not fear God. 19Therefore when the LORD your God has given you rest from all your enemies on every hand, in the land that the LORD your God is giving you as an inheritance to possess, you shall blot out the remembrance of Amalek from under heaven; do not forget.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 476). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

OK, remember Amalek so that you can forget Amalek. Also, let’s write it in a book so that you can be reminded to remember that you have to forget him. Don’t forget. Or do forget. I forget which.

Deuteronomy Chapters 5 & 6

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Moses is still talking to the Israelites and he tells them that God made a covenant at Mount Horeb, not with their ancestors, but with them, the Israelites gathered at that moment. He then recites the Ten Commandments, but not the Exodus 34 version. This is the Exodus 20 version which is the version people are most familiar with.

The section that follows says that the Israelites could not bear to hear the voice of God for themselves, so they asked that Moses relay everything that God says to him. God sends the people back to their tents, and he will give Moses all of the commandments, statutes, and ordinances.

Going back to the Ten Commandments. It is curious that the author of this section used the first set of ten, like he didn’t like the second set. I mean, seriously, would there be such a push to hang them in courtrooms and classrooms if it was list that included Jewish feasts and a prohibition against boiling a baby goat in its mother’s milk?

4Hear, O Israel: The LORD is our God, the LORD alone. 5You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your might. 6Keep these words that I am commanding you today in your heart. 7Recite them to your children and talk about them when you are at home and when you are away, when you lie down and when you rise. 8Bind them as a sign on your hand, fix them as an emblem on your forehead, 9and write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 436). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

I’m not sure if this greatest commandment is just verse 5, or if it’s the whole paragraph. The authors of the Bible don’t really seem to do lists. They could really learn from Buzzfeed.

They are then cautioned to obey all of the commands and fear, serve, and swear to the Lord because, as we learn again, he is jealous. They are warned against following any other gods of the people around them because they will be destroyed from the face of the earth. They should also not test the God, because he doesn’t like to be tested.

This chapter is God simply covering his butt. Don’t test God, just obey him. In concert with the previous chapter, just do what Moses tells you to do because God only speaks to him and he’ll tell them everything that God wants. And God wants them to follow every jot and tittle of the law or be killed. That’s a nice place to end these chapters.