That’s Not How You Pick Up Women

Judges Chapters 20 & 21

Well, the rest of the Israelites got the Levite’s message from the last chapter and they have amassed at Mizpah to go to war against the Benjaminites (shortened to Benjamin). This includes the tribe of Dan who decided to worship the idol of Micah and also poach his priest. I can’t find anything to confirm or deny it, so I can’t tell if the Levite in this and the previous chapter is the same as the one in chapters 17 and 18. It doesn’t seem like it, so I am assuming that these are two different stories from possibly two different authors (I may have to inquire online).

They first tries diplomacy with Benjamin, but they were having none of it, so I guess the war was going to be one. Anyway, long story short, twice the Israelites attacked and Benjamin, despite having smaller numbers, beat them back. Finally, God said that he will deliver them into their hands and they strategized and prepared an ambush and they beat them. Then they burned their city down and killed all of their animals and people.

Chapter 21 starts off with a promise made that no Israelite will give their daughters to the tribe of Benjamin. However, they feel sorry for Benjamin, and figure out a work-around for their promise. They realize that nobody from Jabesh-gilead ever showed up, so…

10So the congregation sent twelve thousand soldiers there and commanded them, “Go, put the inhabitants of Jabesh‐gilead to the sword, including the women and the little ones. 11This is what you shall do; every male and every woman that has lain with a male you shall devote to destruction.” 12And they found among the inhabitants of Jabesh‐gilead four hundred young virgins who had never slept with a man and brought them to the camp at Shiloh, which is in the land of Canaan.

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 395). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

These four hundred virgins weren’t enough, but they were in luck because a yearly festival was happening in Shiloh. The Israelites told Benjamin lie in wait in the vineyards and when the girls come out to dance, carry them off. Because that’s a good way to meet girls. But what about the fathers and brothers?

22″Then if their fathers or their brothers come to complain to us, we will say to them, ‘Be generous and allow us to have them; because we did not capture in battle a wife for each man. But neither did you incur guilt by giving your daughters to them.’”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 396). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

That’s the value of women in the Bible. Benjamin returned to their land, fixed it all up again, and lived happily ever after…their “wives” however…you can probably guess.

So that’s it. That’s Judges and that was a quite a ride. Coming up next is the short book of Ruth. I’ve never read it that I can recall, so this should be fun.

The Biblical Value Of Women

Judges Chapter 19 (CW: Sexual assault)

I have read a lot of problematic chapters in this book so far, but this one is easily the worst. This is the story of a Levite from Ephraim whose concubine got mad at him and went back home to her father. The Levite went after her to attempt to make amends and stayed with her father and her in Bethlehem for four nights, leaving on the fifth day. According to the annotation, leaving on the fifth day leads to trouble, pointing back to Samson and Delilah (on the fifth day he was taken by the soldiers after his haircut).

So the Levite leaves with his concubine and instead of staying the city of Jebus, since it was filled with Jebusites, they stayed in Gibeah which is where the tribe of Benjamin lived. He figured that this would be a safer place since it was occupied by Israelites. He waited in the square and an old man who was also from Ephraim approached him and took the Levite, his concubine, and servant in, fed the animals, and cared for them. Then came a pounding at the door and the men of the town demand that the Levite be sent out so that they may have intercourse with him.

23And the man, the master of the house, went out to them and said to them, “No, my brothers, do not act so wickedly. Since this man is my guest, do not do this vile thing. 24Here are my virgin daughter and his concubine; let me bring them out now. Ravish them and do whatever you want to them; but against this man do not do such a vile thing.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 392). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

This demonstrates that women in the Bible are nothing more than property. The man’s gesture shows that he is willing to give up the money that would make from his daughter in the form of bride-price. The man grabbed the concubine and threw her out to the crowd and they…had their way with her. I will not go into detail.

This story is of the same motif as the story of Sodom and Gomorrah except that the there are no angels and the men of the town are Israelites. The men of Gibeah display the same sin as the men in the earlier story, and it isn’t homosexuality as many apologists would like to have us believe. No, it’s a lack of hospitality for the stranger, instead wanting to show him who’s the boss around there. These stories, likely, are moral tales and not actual historical events. The desire of the men of the town is to show how evil they are that instead of welcoming guests, they would prefer to exercise their dominance over them.

The way that the evil men of the town are introduced in both stories is similar to the villain in a movie being introduced by having him kick a puppy or shoot an innocent person. It’s used to establish character. Anyway, where was I?

27In the morning her master got up, opened the doors of the house, and when he went out to go on his way, there was his concubine lying at the door of the house, with her hands on the threshold. 28“Get up,” he said to her, “we are going.” But there was no answer.

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 392). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

There was no answer because she was dead. So, he loaded up her body onto his donkey, went home, and cut his concubine into twelve pieces and sent them throughout Israel. He told them what had happened and told them to talk it over. This is the beginning of the Benjaminite War.

Nine-Tenths Of The Law

Judges Chapter 18

Remember the last chapter with Micah and the Levite? Well, now we’re going to throw the Danites into this mix. They’re looking for someplace to call their own, so they send five men out to scope out a land for their conquest. During the trip, they stay at Micah’s house and they met the Levite. They asked him a bunch of questions that are simply review from the previous chapter.

5Then they said to him, “Inquire of God that we may know whether the mission we are undertaking will succeed.” 6The priest replied, “Go in peace. The mission you are on is under the eye of the Lord.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 389). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

The men went on to Laish and found what sounds like a quaint and comfortable town where the people lacked for nothing. So, they’re going to destroy it because that’s what God wants, obviously. The five return to the Danites and they take six hundred men back toward Laish, ending back up at Micah’s house and taking his idols, figures, and his Levite.

Because Micah was only one person, he was no match for the Danites, so he went home. The Danites went on to destroy the town of the people who didn’t sound like they were a threat to anybody. They burned the place down and then built it up again and lived there with their idols that they stole.

This Isn’t Going To End Well

Judges Chapter 17

This is a somewhat short chapter about Micah, from Ephraim who apparently returned eleven hundred pieces of silver that he took to his mother. She takes two hundred pieces of silver to a silversmith and has it made into an idol. Micah puts it in his house and places it in a shrine. The words ephod and teraphim are used, and after looking them up, an ephod is an apron worn by the high priest of Israel and teraphim is translated as “disgraceful things”. So this isn’t going to end well…eventually.

7Now there was a young man of Bethlehem in Judah, of the clan of Judah. He was a Levite residing there. 8This man left the town of Bethlehem in Judah, to live wherever he could find a place. He came to the house of Micah in the hill country of Ephraim to carry on his work. 9Micah said to him, “From where do you come?” He replied, “I am a Levite of Bethlehem in Judah, and I am going to live wherever I can find a place.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 389). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

I think this Levite might be from Judah, but don’t quote me on that. Micah offers this Levite ten pieces of silver, clothes, and (likely) his living expenses to be his personal priest. I mean, every house needs a personal priest. The Levite agrees and so Micah installs him as the house priest. I’m pretty sure this isn’t going to end well*.

*Seriously, I don’t. I haven’t read too far ahead yet and except for the story of Samson, I really am not too familiar with this part of the Bible going forward except for the stories that I heard in Catholic school.