Tag: Philistines

She Tied You To Her Kitchen Chair…

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Judges Chapter 16

This chapter starts with something that resembles a Monty Python interstitial. Samson rolls into Gaza, employs the services of a lady of the evening, and avoids getting ambushed. The Gazites know he’s there, so they’ll kill him in the morning. Samson leaves at midnight, taking the city gates with him and
leaving them on a hill. That’s it. That’s the whole story.

Finally, we get the name of another woman in this book. Samson falls in love with Delilah and the Philistine lords offer her big money to figure out the secret of his strength. After telling her three lies, and the tested each one, he finally gave in to her nagging and told her it was his hair. So, she called a guy to cut his hair while he slept.

Delilah woke him by telling him that the Philistines are upon him. He realized that his powers were gone because she carried through with the thing that mate he said would make him weak…every time.

The Philistines took him and gouged his eyes out and imprisoned him. They gathered in the Temple of the god Dagon to give thanks for the delivery of Samson. They brought him out for their entertainment and tied him between the pillars and made him dance for them. He asked to be able to touch the pillars, maybe to determine how much strength he would need.

28Then Samson called to the Lord and said, “Lord God, remember me and strengthen me only this once, O God, so that with this one act of revenge I may pay back the Philistines for my two eyes.” 29And Samson grasped the two middle pillars on which the house rested, and he leaned his weight against them, his right hand on the one and his left hand on the other.

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 388). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

With that, and all of the Philistines gathered above, he pulled down the pillars and the temple killing everyone, including himself. According to the text, he killed more people here than he did in his lifetime.

Samson was not what I would refer to as a good person. His taste in women leaves something to be desired, but I can also see why the story has him lose his eyes. He based his desire for a woman strictly on her looks. This reads more as a moral tale or cautionary tale than anything else. Of course, that’s just my amateur opinion.

A Jawbone Of An Ass

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Judges Chapter 15

Samson finds out that his wife has been given to Samson’s companion, and now he’s out for vengeance. His father-in-law tried to give him his younger daughter, but Samson has other ideas. He burned down the Philistines’ grain fields, vineyards, and olive groves. How he did it involves three hundred foxes and a bunch of torches, and lighting them and letting them loose.

The Philistines killed Samson’s wife and her father when they found out what he did. He swore revenge on them and then, apparently killed the men that burned his father-in-law and wife. He then went and hid.

Samson basically stirs up a hornet’s nest. The Philistines came to the people of Judah and say that they are going to capture Samson and do to him what he did to them. The men of Judah went to him, tied him up, and took him back to Lehi where the people of Judah were staying. All of this was done with Samson’s knowledge.

I love learning where certain phrases come from. This chapter, it turns out, is where the phrase “Jawbone of an ass,” comes from. When the Philistines came to meet him, Samson broke free of his ropes thanks to God and we have this famous scene.

15Then he found a fresh jawbone of a donkey, reached down and took it, and with it he killed a thousand men. 16And Samson said,

“With the jawbone of a donkey,
heaps upon heaps,
with the jawbone of a donkey  
I have slain a thousand men.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (pp. 386-387). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

When he was done bludgeoning Philistines with the jawbone, he was quite thisty and so God broke open the hollow spot under Lehi and gave him a drink. He judged Israel for twenty years.

Riddle Me This…

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Judges Chapter 14

Samson is all grown up and looking for love. He sees a Philistine woman while he’s in Timnah and wants her. So he runs back to mom and dad and tells them to get her for him, like when a child wants a toy. We learn that this is part of some scheme to act against the Philistines. What happens next is best left up to the text itself.

5Then Samson went down with his father and mother to Timnah. When he came to the vineyards of Timnah, suddenly a young lion roared at him. 6The spirit of the Lord rushed on him, and he tore the lion apart barehanded as one might tear apart a kid. But he did not tell his father or his mother what he had done.

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 385). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

Samson has some pent up aggression, doesn’t he? Anyway, he talked to the woman and was digging her, so he married her after some unspecified period of time. On his way to marry her, he came across the lion carcass and bees had taken it over and he found honey inside. So, he scraped it out and ate it and gave some to his father, but he never told him where it came from.

Samson had a feast as a celebration of his nuptials to this unnamed woman. Thirty people joined him for the feast and then he proceeded to give them a riddle.

12Samson said to them, “Let me now put a riddle to you. If you can explain it to me within the seven days of the feast, and find it out, then I will give you thirty linen garments and thirty festal garments. 13But if you cannot explain it to me, then you shall give me thirty linen garments and thirty festal garments.” So they said to him, “Ask your riddle; let us hear it.” 14He said to them,

“Out of the eater came something to eat.

Out of the strong came something sweet.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 385). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

Naturally, this riddle is only answerable by Samson since it’s about the honey coming from the lion’s carcass. The companions ask Samson’s wife to get the answer from him and tell them. So she nags him for the entire feast until on the last day he tells her. And then she tells her people.

18The men of the town said to him on the seventh day before the sun went down,

“What is sweeter than honey?

What is stronger than a lion?”

And he said to them,

“If you had not plowed with my heifer,

you would not have found out my riddle.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 386). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

There seems to be some innuendo going on here. I mean, did he just call his wife a heifer? Anyway, since he lost the game, he went to Ashkelon and killed thirty men for their garments. Then Samson went to his father’s house and gave his wife to his best man because she betrayed him, apparently.

Apologies for the many quoted verses, but it’s best to let the text do the talking. Obviously, we’re working toward the Leonard Cohen finale here, but that won’t be for another couple chapters.

Be Careful What You Promise

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Judges Chapters 10 & 11

Chapter 10 is short and discussed two judges briefly. Puah, who judged 23 years, and Jair, who judged for 22 years. We get a nursery rhyme moment in here akin to “As I Was Going to St. Ives” just not as whimsical.

4He had thirty sons who rode on thirty donkeys; and they had thirty towns, which are in the land of Gilead, and are called Havvoth‐jair to this day. 5Jair died, and was buried in Kamon.

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 380). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

Once again, the Israelites did the evil thing and God let the Philistines and the Ammonites crush the Israelites. The latter also fought against Judah, Benjamin, and Ephraim. Once again the Israelites remembered that they have a God that they can cry to and he’ll find somebody to lead them for a time. The Ammonites armed themselves and camped in Gilead. If only there was somebody to save them.

Jephthah. Chapter 11 is about Jephthah, who was the son of Gilead and a prostitute. The legitimate sons of Gilead kicked him out until the events of the last chapter, then they wanted him back to fight against the ammonites. He agreed to do it and the people made him the commander.

Credit where it’s due, Jephthah did attempt diplomacy with the Ammonites and it turns into a history lesson, so I’m going to gloss over it. After explaining how the Israelites got to where they are and sending a warning that God will decide between the Israelites or the Ammonites. They didn’t buy it, so Jephthah is going to war. And most of you might know what’s coming.

30And Jephthah made a vow to the Lord, and said, “If you will give the Ammonites into my hand, 31then whoever comes out of the doors of my house to meet me, when I return victorious from the Ammonites, shall be the Lord’s, to be offered up by me as a burnt offering.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 382). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

This won’t end badly.

34Then Jephthah came to his home at Mizpah; and there was his daughter coming out to meet him with timbrels and with dancing. She was his only child; he had no son or daughter except her. 35When he saw her, he tore his clothes, and said, “Alas, my daughter! You have brought me very low; you have become the cause of great trouble to me. For I have opened my mouth to the Lord, and I cannot take back my vow.”

Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 382). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

Oops. Be careful what you promise, folks. Luckily, his daughter takes it all in stride and just wants two months to grieve her virginity with her friends. When she came back home, he kept his promise. I guess because he’s not Abraham, God wouldn’t intervene.