It’s No Stairway To Heaven

April 26, 2024April 25, 2024 ~ AlienCG ~ Leave a comment

Judges Chapter 5

We come to another song. This time it’s the Song of Deborah, the judge from the previous chapter. It’s interesting to me that the only female judge and one of only a handful of women in this entire book has two full chapters about her.

This ballad is one of the oldest extant pieces of Hebrew writing; it is difficult in many places. As a literary specimen it has more in common with the Late Bronze Age Syrian mythic poetry than with Hebrew poetry from the Iron Age.
Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 396). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

I was going to start off at the first line, “When locks are long in Israel…,” with a joke about Samson who come up later in the chapter, but this verse does refer to the long hair of the Nazirite warriors. So, that would have been egg on my face.

This song tells of the battle that was fought in the previous chapter. The tribes that were near to the battle joined in, but many others did not, such as Reuben, Gilead, Asher, and Dan. There is much praise for Jael:

²⁴“Most blessed of women be Jael,
the wife of Heber the Kenite,
of tent‐dwelling women most blessed.
²⁵He asked water and she gave him milk,
she brought him curds in a lordly bowl.
²⁶She put her hand to the tent peg
and her right hand to the workmen’s mallet;
she struck Sisera a blow,
she crushed his head,
she shattered and pierced his temple.
Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 370). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

OK, for all of my criticism of the writing in this book, the following verse is very well written:

²⁸“Out of the window she peered,
the mother of Sisera gazed through the lattice:
‘Why is his chariot so long in coming?
Why tarry the hoofbeats of his chariots?’…”
Brettler, Marc; Newsom, Carol; Perkins, Pheme. The New Oxford Annotated Bible with Apocrypha: New Revised Standard Version (p. 371). Oxford University Press. Kindle Edition.

This is one of only a few verses so far that really makes someone feel human, and not just a cardboard cutout character from a morality play. The verses following are “Her wisest ladies” answering that maybe they’re finding and dividing up the spoils of war. Somehow, I think the mother of Sisera knows the truth.

Apologies for the number of quoted passages here, but this song is far more interesting than the Song Of Moses which was a roll call of the tribes. This song added context to the previous chapter for which I am thankful.

Deuteronomy Chapter 31

February 7, 2024 ~ AlienCG ~ Leave a comment

Moses is now 120 years old and can’t get around much anymore. I wonder if a mobility scooter would help? He tells Israel not to be afraid because God is going to precede them into the promised land and destroy the nations that are there. We get another reminder that he did the same in earlier chapters to other kings. Also, he reminds Israel that he will not be crossing with them because way back when he hit a rock with his staff and that was an affront to God. Talk about holding grudges. Then he announces, again, that Joshua will be leading them across the Jordan.

So, after announcing that there will be bloodshed and violence and a new guy at the helm, it only makes sense to talk about the law again. Every seven years, at the festival of booths, all of the people will be brought together and the law will be read in its entirety. This is so that the people will hear it and fear God. I really hope that they have the law written down in an easy-to-read place instead of having to go through these past four books where the laws are just carelessly strewn about.

God calls Moses and Joshua, the new guy, to the tent of meeting to tell them that after Moses dies, which will be soon, that the Israelites will start turning to other gods and they will notice that God isn’t there defending them. So, like any 1980’s afterschool special, Moses is told to write a song and teach it to the people so that they won’t forget.

²⁴When Moses had finished writing down in a book the words of this law to the very end, ²⁵Moses commanded the Levites who carried the ark of the covenant of the LORD…”

Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 492). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

OK, good news: there is a book of laws. Bad news: it’s with the Ark of the Covenant which likely doesn’t exist, or it’s in a secret government warehouse. Anyway, he tells the Levites that they’re stubborn and rebellious and that he is going to teach him the new song he just wrote. I read ahead, it’s no Lennon and McCartney collab, it’s more like something Jim Steiman would write. Just picture it sung by Meatloaf.

Exodus Chapters 14, 15, & 16

September 9, 2021September 7, 2021 ~ AlienCG ~ 1 Comment

Chapter 14

We now come to the crossing of the Red Sea. God tell Moses where to camp so that it looks to Pharaoh like they’re wandering aimlessly. Then God decides that he is going to…oh here, read for yourself.

⁴I will harden Pharaoh’s heart, and he will pursue them, so that I will gain glory for myself over Pharaoh and all his army; and the Egyptians shall know that I am the LORD. And they did so.
Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 157). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

At this point, God just looks like he has two pawns that he is playing against each other. This is not a good and just God. This is pure evil in any context. He is going to drown the entire army of Egypt because he hardened their hearts.

Moses stretched out his over the sea and it parted so that there was land for the Israelites to walk on and cross to the other side. Of course, the Egyptian army chased after them and God told Moses to once again stretch out his hand over the sea so that the waters would close up around the Egyptian army and drown them all.

³⁰Thus the LORD saved Israel that day from the Egyptians; and Israel saw the Egyptians dead on the seashore. ³¹Israel saw the great work that the LORD did against the Egyptians. So the people feared the LORD and believed in the LORD and in his servant Moses.
Bibles, Harper . NRSV Bible with the Apocrypha (p. 159). Zondervan. Kindle Edition.

The Lord made the Egyptians chase after the Israelites in the first place so that he could prove his manliness as a God. He also killed a lot of men and horses. The God of Exodus is a monster.

Chapter 15

The first part is song of praise to God for drowning the chariot drivers and their horses. It’s also a recounting of the events of the last chapter with no mention of Pharaoh’s hardened heart. Then the prophet Miriam (Aaron’s sister) joined in to celebrate the deaths of horses and riders.

They ended up in Marah, which means bitterness, and they could not drink the water because it was, you guessed it, bitter. So Moses cried out to God who gave him a piece of wood and he threw it into the water and that bitterness cleared right up.

Finally, God tells his people that they won’t catch any of the diseases that the Egyptians caught if the listen to him and heed his commandments. This is the God that heals them. They camped a lovely oasis with twelve springs and seventy palm trees.

Chapter 16

This is a long story about bread with a lot of repetition. Anyway, it’s a test by God to see how well the Israelites follow directions. Each morning, God will provide the Israelites bread and they have to gather enough for the day for their families, no more, no less. They are not to keep the bread until the following morning. Some do just that and it bred worms (I see what they did there) and was inedible. So, they learned their lesson and collected and ate the bread in the same day.

On the sixth day, they were told to gather twice the amount of bread, which they did. They were told this time to save half for the following morning, which they did. This time the bread did not grow worms and go bad. The seventh morning, they went out to gather bread and found none and God got upset because they weren’t keeping the Sabbath. Aaron placed a portion before God as an offering to kept for generations.